by Noah Cicero

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Inside of Dave’s bedroom.

Dave and his mother are in bed.

They are in their underwear.

Dave is wearing briefs.

His mom is wearing big purple silky underwear.

“Mommy, no one likes me.”

“That’s because you suck Dave. But don’t you worry. Your mommy loves you.”

“Everybody makes fun of me at work. Everyone says that I’m dumb and suck at my job. And everyone makes fun of me because I’ve never had a girlfriend.”

“Dave, they’re just jealous. They aren’t as smart or as good looking as you. And they know it. And you don’t need a girlfriend because I’m here. I’m your best friend and I’m a girl. So in a way, I’m your girlfriend. Your job as a son is to protect me. Not like you did when you went to the Marines and let those bastards steal my Beanie Babies and Troll Dolls.”

“I know mommy. But it hurts. I’ve never even kissed a girl.”

“I’m your mother. And I love you. No one in this entire universe loves you like I do. No one can love a son like a mother. Right?”

“Yes, mommy.”

“So why would you leave your mother to be with some tramp. With some no good loser whore bitch. While I’m here loving you so sweet?”

“I know mommy. I know you love me.”

The mother touches Dave’s leg and looks at Dave real sexy like.

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