today i bought a small pink flower

i don't like to talk. every time i go somewhere with a friend they always expect me to talk to them. i like to sit quietly. when i watch a movie or read a poem i don't like to discuss it with anyone. i like to watch movies and then maybe sleep. no talking. occasionally i watch the same movie over and over again until i fall asleep. i prefer watching movies alone. i prefer reading alone. i prefer eating alone. i prefer walking alone. i prefer listening to music alone. i prefer singing alone. i prefer swimming alone. i prefer to eat small children alone. i like it when sean reads me poetry but i just like to listen quietly and not comment afterwards. sometimes i feel this makes him uncomfortable.

today i bought a small pink flower. whenever i go to the florist and ask for a single flower she gets confused. she always adds baby's breath and ferns to my flower thinking that she is making it look nicer. today she wrapped my flower in ugly paper with a big ugly bow. it made me angry. why can't i buy a single flower with no paper or ferns or bows? i don't mind the free baby's breath because now that my hair is growing longer i can stick it in my hair.

on my walk back from the florist i stopped on the middle of the bridge and pulled out the ferns. i threw them over the rail and watched them spin down into the water.

when i got home i took the clear paper that was wrapped over top of the ugly paper and wrapped it around my face tight enough to restrict my breathing. it was fun.

< yesterday i was talking to myself... by ellen kennedy >