< Today The Sky is Blue and White with
Bright Blue Spots and a Small Pale
Moon and I Will Destroy Our
Relationship Today

by Tao Lin >


When I was five I had very pointy legs. I didn’t have feet really.

At the bottom of my legs it was just very pointy. Whenever I went outside I stabbed a dozen lizards by accident. It was always a dozen for some reason.

At home my mom stacked the lizards up in the guest room. I was very sad and ashamed but I had to go outside each day for Vitamin D from the sun.

In my room I used rocks to try to dull my legs but it always just sharpened them more and made them very shiny. I cried myself to sleep every night.

Then one Christmas morning in the living room there was a man in full plate armor on a horse. I said, “Mom, what is that?” She was blushing and looking away.

The man dismounted his horse. He had a special sheath that was two sheaths. “Get in here,” he said and came toward me. He was smiling.

“This isn’t right,” I said. I backed up until I was against a wall. I felt that there was something wrapped around my head and I tore at it.

When I saw that it was wrapping paper and a red bow I began to cry. And as I cried at how pointy my legs were and how unfair life was the man who was a medieval knight lifted me and put me inside his sheath.