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by Tao Lin >

Canadian Sandy! You Will Never Read This Story! Good Bye!

Sandy has moved back to Canada! I could walk five steps into my front grass and peer diagonal at his hollow house! I could do that! I could chew weeds! I could walk around my house ten times, in circles, like a drawing! I could eat raw spaghetti until nothing mattered!

Sandy arrived from Canada and appeared on his bike! He appeared like a bug! He cycled over the blacktop! Him and his bike, like a little car! And a sister! With A’s in her name and outfits that billowed! A sister with a boyfriend whose head made me think of beaks!

I spent the night at Sandy’s house! The Super Bowl was over! In the dark I smelled guacamole! I looked at the walls and I didn’t know anything anymore! Sandy was asleep on the carpet! He looked like napkins! I touched him! Then I ran home! The neighborhood was very quiet! Beyond the houses were churches and gas stations and in the morning Sandy’s father drove by in his van!

Take Florida! Grab it like a frying pan! Place it on top of Canada, like a stove! Watch the moose run! Then watch them become tired, and stop, and chew grass! Moose like to chew grass!

A boy named Sandy flew from Canada to Florida and landed inside a house! Him and his mother and his uncle and aunt and sister and father filled one house! Sandy decided to walk out his front door! And he walked out his front door! It was windy and sunny and we were friends! There were lizards! Sandy’s sister had on make-up and she flew out a window, over us, like more than one kite! I looked at my house and pointed my finger at my house! I turned to show Sandy! But he was moving through the clouds, in a plane, wearing a seatbelt, sipping 7-Up, flying back to Canada! There would have been an empty seat, because Sandy had round-trip tickets; there would have been air, in the seat, going from Florida to Canada!

In Canada the tundra is gray! In Florida the beaches are gray, yellow, tan, and white! In Canada there are moose! In Florida there are lizards! Canada has salmon and Alaska! Ice floes! Florida has Lake Istokpoga, Apokpa, Sarasota, grunts, pigfish, manatees, flying squirrels, flying ants, flying fish, and flying lizards!

Sandy was in fourth grade! We walked in caterpillar lines! The teacher was the caterpillar’s head! I saw Sandy across the media center! He was in his line and I was in mine! He smiled! He looked very sleepy! He waved at me! The person behind him glanced at me! And I glanced at that person! Then I waved at Sandy! And Sandy waved back! And then I waved again! Altogether I had waved twice! Sandy also had waved twice! But then I waved again! Three times I had waved! Then I smiled again! And after I smiled that second smile, and when Sandy was no longer looking, I waved three more times! The person behind Sandy saw those last three waves, and he waved at me, and he knew that altogether I had waved six times! Six times was too many! He knew this and I knew this! Six times I had waved! Six times and I had waved Sandy all the way back to moose-filled Canada!