a 'richard yates' is really just a large breed of hamster only native to connecticut. i just made up about reading his books to make my life seem more interesting.
i'm too depressed to cook my food on my hotplate now. it takes too much time away from sleeping. i just eat my soybeans as they come out of the bag. i can't even remember the last time i ate. i think it’s been a few days, maybe a week or so. i've now trained my body to almost be able to hibernate. i sleep twenty hours a day and eat maybe once every 25 days. life is okay maybe.
i just yawned very hard.