Eat When You Feel Sad

21/23 - Next

Robert feels his back pocket and realizes that he is not carrying his wallet. He returns to WholeFoods and retraces his steps home. He enjoys the opportunity to ride his bicycle slower than usual. At home he considers writing a list of how losing his wallet has changed things but instead decides "I don't know it changed some things it, whatever." He calls his bank and has his ATM card put on hold. He calls Lisa and leaves a voicemail. He spends an hour getting dressed and then carries a bottle of wine to a party. There isn't a corkscrew so he drinks beer, and then someone does something with a hammer and a screw driver and then Robert has some wine on his shirt and someone offers him an ice cube. He feels intensely sad. He has to go to work tomorrow. He smokes marijuana and tries to make jokes. He pulls a few people aside in order to whisper special jokes to them. Someone he knows pulls him aside and says "I just want you to know, that I know, that you're full of bullshit." Robert feels really upset. He doesn't think this is okay.

"That makes me feel sad."

She says "What?"

"I know I project that sometimes, but inside I'm really deep."

"Yeah, and that's why you're full of bullshit."

"Okay." He thinks, "She is drunk I guess. I guess this is okay." Robert feels fucked.

A girl comes towards Robert and says "Borges. I thought about it, Borges." Robert isn't sure what to say.

Later he tells someone "I need to puke" hoping the person will direct him to the street. The person directs him to the bathroom and he looks at the tiny sink and tiny toilet and thinks “This is futile.” He goes back into the party and throws up a lot. The party seems to stop around him. He goes to the bathroom and a girl he knows helps him wash his face and hands and rinse his mouth. She walks with him a few blocks and tries to walk him all the way home. He says "I definitely have it, uh, I'm definitely better than you to be walking home alone."

She says, "But you're just so drunk." At home Robert takes all of his clothes off and takes all the shit off of his bed and lies down. It's three AM. He feels happy. He puts on the song Paper Planes by M.I.A. The next day he wakes up at six forty AM and decides to get up at nine AM. He sets two alarms. It's cold. Robert closes his bedroom window. At nine AM, one of his alarms goes off and he gets up. He takes a piss and looks at himself. He puts on the song Paper Planes by M.I.A. He feels sad and weird. He feels like he'll still be pretty efficient at work today.