thirteen >

Today I am sad there is not a specific occupation called goat extractor.

Also I am leaving my wife. She is not supposed to know this, even though I think she already does.

"I'm going to a baseball game this weekend...with Earl from work," was all I said.

Yesterday she picked out new drapes for the living room.
Today she ordered a new loveseat.
Last night I caught her looking at my side of the closet.
There is adultery in her heart, I know it.
My 30 hours of TiVo space for the next month are already gone.

Before leaving for the game I said, "I'll call once I'm in the city. Thanks for the sandwiches Mary."

She closed her mouth and flinched a little just above her cheeks. I saw her pushing all of that movement behind her eyes. I tried to kiss her. She just watched my face and didn't move her lips. I stopped. I felt like I was back in 8th grade.

"You've had that shirt a while," she said.
"Let me cut your nails."

She had bitten them all down except for three on her left hand. They were long and soft and no matter how hard I tried they wouldn't bleed.

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