Eat When You Feel Sad

16/23 - Next

Robert is listening to the song Eve of Destruction by Barry McGuire. Robert is trying to connect to the internet. He’s having trouble and is getting frustrated. He can feel oil move around on his face. He hears a noise. He walks to the bathroom and washes his face. His head hurts. He puts some clothes away and makes his bed. He feels tired. He selects Amanda’s name on his cell phone and presses send. He presses end before anything happens. He feels nervous. He feels like he’s never accomplished anything. He wishes he had more money. Eve of Destruction ends. He wishes he lived in a nicer part of town. He isn’t sure what to do. He puts on the album Paper Television by The Blow. The percussion makes him feel okay. They lyrics remind him that he will meet someone. He wants to punch himself in the nose. He doesn’t have work tomorrow. He wants to get drunk. He calls Paul and leaves a voicemail. He looks at icons on his computer desktop and feels sad and pathetic. It’s 8:55 PM. He looks at his wireless modem. He looks at Jim’s cat. He wants to push it out the window. He wants to lie in a tub of ice water. For one second he feels extremely motivated to lie in a tub of ice water. He feels oil move again on his face. He thinks about his diet. He wants to make carrot juice. He takes a shower. He calls Lisa and doesn’t leave a voicemail. He wonders what his neighbors are doing. He wonders if the rain has something to do with his internet connection’s failure. He hears a noise and looks at Jim’s cat and sees Jim’s cat throw up. Robert walks to the wastebasket and picks out a few pieces of paper. With one piece of paper he picks up the throw up. Then he wraps it in the other pieces of paper. He thinks about whether or not people like him. He thinks about the fact that his stomach isn’t perfectly flat. He thinks he should start doing sit ups. He wants to be pushed off a really high houseboat onto really cold water and then never have to work again. He thinks about people who make money by doing medical testings. He thinks about pounding his head against the wall. He looks at Jim’s cat and isn’t sure what to do. He tries to connect to the internet until Paper Television is over and then brushes his teeth and takes out his contact lenses and goes to bed.